Beautiful Father

Right now I feel so overwhelmed with love that the only thing I can think to do is cry. This week I feel like God has given me a glimpse of His love for us. Last week at FCF college group we talked about how our Father loves us so much that, even though we face a great amount of pain in life and don’t always understand why, He is willing to let us experience it because he knows that we will be better because of it. The leader of college group was talking about how when his daughter fell, split her chin open, and needed stitches, he had to hold her to the operating table as she was screaming, in order for the doctor to stitch her up. At the time, his daughter was 4 years old and had no idea why her beloved daddy would put her through so much pain. This story breaks my heart and fills it with love at the same time. It breaks my heart because I feel like God was giving me a glimpse into what it feels like when someone says they don’t love Him. God loves us so much that He is willing to put us in those painful situations, even though we don’t understand why, to heal us—to make us better people. I am greatly humbled as I think about all the times I have questioned God’s plans for me; He knows what He is doing in my life, and for me to think that any pain I go through is unnecessary is me questioning God’s sovereignty.

As God has revealed His amazing love to me this week, He has also made known to me a spiritual gift and has called me to use it. This would be compassion. Love. We are so broken, and God uses that brokenness in His plan for us. He knows our pain. Jesus experienced all of it. He knows our flaws, our weaknesses; He knows every sin we’ve committed, and yet He still loves us. Unconditionally. He reaches out to us, knowing that not all of us will reach back. He wants to change our lives, and He does this through his unconditional love. I filled out and turned in my Resident Assistant application this week, and through the whole process I have realized that God is giving me this amazing opportunity to reach out to people and also love them unconditionally. No expectations, no rules. Just love. This is why I want to be an RA so badly. I feel so much pain when someone else hurts, and I want them to see that despite everything going on in their lives, they are loved. Maybe being an RA will give me the opportunity to make a difference in someone’s life. I want everyone to experience this amazing love that I feel, and by being an RA, maybe I can be a friend to someone that has never had a friend. Maybe I can be a source of encouragement to someone that feels hopeless. Maybe I can be the one consistent person in someone’s life. I know that not everyone will be receptive, appreciative, or even notice how much I care, but I’m okay with that. Unconditional love is just that. Unconditional. Jesus shows us this everyday and has called me to love in the same way. My heart overflows with compassion for people and right now, all I know to do with this love is cry it out.

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10/29/10
I did not get this RA position, but God had so many better plans for me. I am now on 2 prayer teams with InterVarsity and I am mentoring a girl from my Bible study. God has slowly but faithfully been teaching me just to love on people, and this brings me so much more joy than I ever would have thought possible.